Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Back.

So. We left. Went on vacation.

Are back now.

Rejoice! For lo, vacations with the little ones are not vacations at all but more like cranky whining hitting pooping cattle drives. But at the end of a cattle drive you maybe are able to perhaps eat one of the cows, thereby making it worthwhile. Also, I guess you get paid for it. While after a vacation, you are so totally not allowed to eat the children you have driven hither and yon and possibly into madness, nor do you get paid for it, unless you accept payment in the form of hideous nasty gashes on your chest inflicted by the baby while riding in the peaceful Ergo carrier which mothers won't give you a hard time for wearing, unlike Baby Bjorns. Because, dude, I totally saw that episode of ER where the whiny doctor with the batshit crazy mom (Sally Fields or something) took her baby to Gymboree or something with her baby in a Bjorn and there was a mom there and she totally took her ass to task for fucking up her baby's spine and hips by placing him (I think it was a boy. I don't remember. All I remember is that she left the hospital without her uterus. Thank you ER!) in anything other than a sling. I hate slings. But I'm pretty sure the bitchy mom would have approved of my Ergo. Which is totally why I shelled out the hundred dollars for it. To please the bitchy mom on ER. Also, I'm in love with Wood over at sweet-juniper, and I'm pretty sure she has an Ergo.

In other words: I need a vacation. Baby herding is not my strong point. Ending up in pointless tirades involving ER is not where anyone wants to find themselves on a beautiful summer day.

Also, there's some fucking asshat in our neighborhood who's been...breaking into people's houses or some shit. Tried to take a 3 year old out of her bed a couple weeks ago. Have I mentioned that I'm not sleeping? Maybe I can blame that ER stream of consciousness bullshit on that.

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